The long road to good bye, Part 1

Summer ‘08 The summer of 08 was highly anticipated.  It’s been a crappy year so far and I was looking forward to having fun. After 9 months of not seeing my husband mainly due to school, flying and deployment, I was looking forward to my mom’s visit.  Although I kept myself busy with teaching and rushing to complete my graduate degree in time for the next move, having family members visit me was a welcome relief.  Though I love my furry friends at home, I often catch myself lately conversing with them. Francisco left for his second deployment at the end of April (did I mention it was my birthday too). So June can’t come soon enough for me.  My Mom, my three nieces and nephew were scheduled to arrive mid June and we made plans to drive up and down the coast, from Florida all the way to Virginia to visit relatives.  In between, I was insane enough to sign up for two summer sessions. I did not have much choice since I wanted to complete the program by May 09. Looking back, a big part of me was glad that I opted for another graduate degree rather than a doctoral program because even four years later, I have no idea how I was able to pull it all off. The house of chaos Everyone arrived the same day and the house of chaos was in full swing.  I had three nieces ages 5, 13, 14 and my nephew was 7. My Mom at the age of 73 decided to finally retire from teaching and I was so sure that I can finally convince her to come stay with me--FOREVER.  I was trying to sell the high lights of staying at my house and living in Charleston SC. Aside from driving up and down the coast, we had plans to do the usual Charleston tour to include several plantation visits, aquarium, etc. We filled up the week with sightseeing tours, walking around the neighborhood, working in the garden, and one evening a week, I squeezed in a class.  Again, I don’t know what I was thinking.  Some of the highlights of the week involved Joshua bringing in a lizard inside because he wanted it as a pet, Joshua and his sister Caitlyn constantly fighting with each other, and both labeling me a mean Auntie because I expected them to behave, Joshua wanting to catch the baby alligator and have him as a pet, and Francisco calling almost nightly.  The best part of the day for me is spending time with my Mom in the evenings and we talk. I would fling myself on her bed and we just talk. Our first road trip The SUV was loaded with luggage.  Sitting up front with me was my niece, Megan. My Mom sat behind with Joshua.  Caitlyn and Melanie were at the third row of the XC 90.  I had to separate Joshua and Caitlyn because they would bicker all day long if allowed and I wasn’t ready to listen to it while driving 4 hours to Jacksonville, Florida.  We had a great drive with Joshua constantly asking “are we there yet?” and he almost cried when I pulled up at the side of the road and pretended to leave him behind. I enjoy teasing him because he takes it so well. We spent 2 days in Jacksonville visiting cousins and headed back to Charleston.  Our next road trip was set for the July 4th weekend.  This time we are heading to North Carolina to meet up with my “Aunt” Catherine, one of my mom’s longest and dearest friend. Road Trip Part II A day before we left for North Carolina, my mom started complaining about her stomach.  She attributed it to her ulcer acting up and we proceeded as planned.  We booked ourselves at the Holiday Inn for two nights.  The plan was that Megan, Melanie, and Caitlyn will stay at my friend Penny’s house since she had similar age kids. Poor Joshua got stuck with Mom and me but I made up for it by treating him and only him to ice cream. It sucks to be the only boy in a road trip full of girls. Mom had a wonderful time catching up with Aunt Catherine. We left Raleigh, NC around noon the third day.  During the drive back, my Mom was unusually quiet and when I asked, she said that her stomach is acting up again. Upon arriving home, I suggested going to the ER but she was stubborn enough and did not want to go. The News My Mom’s stomach ache would not go away and it took several phone calls from several of my brothers to finally convince her to allow me to take her to the ER.  This did not occur until late afternoon the following day after arriving from our road trip. By the time we made it to Trident Hospital, it was already early evening.  I left all the kids at home with my sister, Cristina.  The usual ER waiting period happened.  By the time we were finally called in, we have been waiting for a good hour.  I waited quietly in the room they set aside for us as my Mom was wheeled away to get X-rays done.  I can’t recall how long I sat there waiting for it didn’t really matter.  I just wanted to know if my Mom’s problem was her ulcer.  By the time, they wheeled her back in; it took another good twenty minutes before the ER doctor came to see us.  I don’t do well in anticipation and I just wanted to know what they can do to make my Mom’s stomach pain go away. The doctor walked in and just said “you’re Mom has cancer.” No preamble, no warming up to the subject, no bedside manner.  Just matter of fact statement as he walked out again leaving us stupefied with the news.  I snapped out of my shock and immediately followed him outside.  I need answers. How can he just walk away after dropping a bomb like that? I ran after him in the hallway and began asking some questions.  Which of course, he had no immediate answer except that it’s lymphoma and the tumors are pushing against her gallbladder which in turn is the cause of her stomach upset.  They are scheduling her for gall bladder surgery.  I was still focused on the word CANCER!