The long road to good bye, Part 1

Summer ‘08 The summer of 08 was highly anticipated.  It’s been a crappy year so far and I was looking forward to having fun. After 9 months of not seeing my husband mainly due to school, flying and deployment, I was looking forward to my mom’s visit.  Although I kept myself busy with teaching and rushing to complete my graduate degree in time for the next move, having family members visit me was a welcome relief.  Though I love my furry friends at home, I often catch myself lately conversing with them. Francisco left for his second deployment at the end of April (did I mention it was my birthday too). So June can’t come soon enough for me.  My Mom, my three nieces and nephew were scheduled to arrive mid June and we made plans to drive up and down the coast, from Florida all the way to Virginia to visit relatives.  In between, I was insane enough to sign up for two summer sessions. I did not have much choice since I wanted to complete the program by May 09. Looking back, a big part of me was glad that I opted for another graduate degree rather than a doctoral program because even four years later, I have no idea how I was able to pull it all off. The house of chaos Everyone arrived the same day and the house of chaos was in full swing.  I had three nieces ages 5, 13, 14 and my nephew was 7. My Mom at the age of 73 decided to finally retire from teaching and I was so sure that I can finally convince her to come stay with me--FOREVER.  I was trying to sell the high lights of staying at my house and living in Charleston SC. Aside from driving up and down the coast, we had plans to do the usual Charleston tour to include several plantation visits, aquarium, etc. We filled up the week with sightseeing tours, walking around the neighborhood, working in the garden, and one evening a week, I squeezed in a class.  Again, I don’t know what I was thinking.  Some of the highlights of the week involved Joshua bringing in a lizard inside because he wanted it as a pet, Joshua and his sister Caitlyn constantly fighting with each other, and both labeling me a mean Auntie because I expected them to behave, Joshua wanting to catch the baby alligator and have him as a pet, and Francisco calling almost nightly.  The best part of the day for me is spending time with my Mom in the evenings and we talk. I would fling myself on her bed and we just talk. Our first road trip The SUV was loaded with luggage.  Sitting up front with me was my niece, Megan. My Mom sat behind with Joshua.  Caitlyn and Melanie were at the third row of the XC 90.  I had to separate Joshua and Caitlyn because they would bicker all day long if allowed and I wasn’t ready to listen to it while driving 4 hours to Jacksonville, Florida.  We had a great drive with Joshua constantly asking “are we there yet?” and he almost cried when I pulled up at the side of the road and pretended to leave him behind. I enjoy teasing him because he takes it so well. We spent 2 days in Jacksonville visiting cousins and headed back to Charleston.  Our next road trip was set for the July 4th weekend.  This time we are heading to North Carolina to meet up with my “Aunt” Catherine, one of my mom’s longest and dearest friend. Road Trip Part II A day before we left for North Carolina, my mom started complaining about her stomach.  She attributed it to her ulcer acting up and we proceeded as planned.  We booked ourselves at the Holiday Inn for two nights.  The plan was that Megan, Melanie, and Caitlyn will stay at my friend Penny’s house since she had similar age kids. Poor Joshua got stuck with Mom and me but I made up for it by treating him and only him to ice cream. It sucks to be the only boy in a road trip full of girls. Mom had a wonderful time catching up with Aunt Catherine. We left Raleigh, NC around noon the third day.  During the drive back, my Mom was unusually quiet and when I asked, she said that her stomach is acting up again. Upon arriving home, I suggested going to the ER but she was stubborn enough and did not want to go. The News My Mom’s stomach ache would not go away and it took several phone calls from several of my brothers to finally convince her to allow me to take her to the ER.  This did not occur until late afternoon the following day after arriving from our road trip. By the time we made it to Trident Hospital, it was already early evening.  I left all the kids at home with my sister, Cristina.  The usual ER waiting period happened.  By the time we were finally called in, we have been waiting for a good hour.  I waited quietly in the room they set aside for us as my Mom was wheeled away to get X-rays done.  I can’t recall how long I sat there waiting for it didn’t really matter.  I just wanted to know if my Mom’s problem was her ulcer.  By the time, they wheeled her back in; it took another good twenty minutes before the ER doctor came to see us.  I don’t do well in anticipation and I just wanted to know what they can do to make my Mom’s stomach pain go away. The doctor walked in and just said “you’re Mom has cancer.” No preamble, no warming up to the subject, no bedside manner.  Just matter of fact statement as he walked out again leaving us stupefied with the news.  I snapped out of my shock and immediately followed him outside.  I need answers. How can he just walk away after dropping a bomb like that? I ran after him in the hallway and began asking some questions.  Which of course, he had no immediate answer except that it’s lymphoma and the tumors are pushing against her gallbladder which in turn is the cause of her stomach upset.  They are scheduling her for gall bladder surgery.  I was still focused on the word CANCER!

Beypazari Day Trip: January 17, 2011

On January 17, with our friends, The Zelrick's, we took a day trip to Beypazari.  It's about 1- 1 1/2 hour drive from Anakara--depending on traffic.


Beypazari is part of the historical "Silk Road." It lies in the old Ankara-Istanbul route.  Baypazari's history was dominated by the Hittites, Frigians, Galatians, Romans, and Byzantines during the early ages. Later it was dominated by the Anatolian Seljuks and Ottomans.  Beypazari was an important route connecting Istanbul, Ankara, and Baghdad.


Today, Beypazari still has over 3000 historical wooden houses and a bazaar that is about 200 years old.

Local Food:


Beypazari provides 60% of the carrot production in Turkey.  We made sure to get a taste of the famous 80 layers Baklava.  It takes about 4 hours to bake and there is walnut stuffing placed between each five layers of dough.

eşarpla                                      rı




We also had a taste of the yummylicious Dolma (stuffed grape leaves with meat and rice)


                                                                       


And of course, Beypazari is famous for their Gold and Silver.  The history of gold and silver embroidery in Beypazari has very ancient roots; "The Telkari art embroidery, which is made of gold and silver knitted as thin wires, is a famous Beypazan handicraft, selected as the best product in the Cultural Giftware Design Contest by the Ministry of Culture." Francisco was nice enough to buy me a necklace and earrings set.  Gotta love the hubby.  Here is a sample of these famous jewelry. My necklace and earring set is similar to the one shown here.

Just a few more pics of our time at Beypazari.  We would like to come back during the Market Days which is Wednesdays and Saturdays.

Open Market---love looking at the fresh vegetables!

Dried Peppers and Eggplants:  Need to find someone with a recipe on stuff eggplants using these dried eggplants.  They are delicious!

Above Francisco and Isabella is the restaurant where we ate the yummy dolma and tasted the baklava!

Thought these houses built against the rocks are interesting.

Out and about the town prior to buying some jewelries. =)

All packed and no where to go

It's official! Today is Week 37 and according to all the baby books out there, Baby Girl Flores is considered full term if she decides to make her debut!  Which she isn't...at least not that I can tell.  So here I am packed and no where to go.  So I'll tell you instead how my week has been.

We finally decided on which hospital to use.  Since I can't go to my first choice (Landsthul, Germany) due to logistical reasons (who will take care of Bella and Francisco can't take 6 weeks off to stork nest with me), we were down to Tobb Hospital (formerly Mesa Hospital) or Guven Hospital.  We chose Guven Hospital down by Embassy Row (I refer to it as such because the hospital is strategically situated across the US Embassy) and the street that it is located is where most of the other Embassies are.  I think they purposely do that so that they can all spy on each other with their big satellite dish.

We visited both hospitals and Guven was highly recommended by recent mothers in the American community.  What I found most surprising with the maternity tour was how cheap it is to have a baby here.  Get ready medical folks for this:  the cost of having a baby naturally with a 1 day hospital stay is roughly $1000 and if you happen to have a c-section and they'll only keep you for 2 days is about $1500.  That's not even 10% of how much it was to deliver Bella down at Charleston.  And the hospital also offers VIP rooms for the cost of $300 (which Tri Care SOS will not cover). You'd think they would since it's costing them practically NOTHING to have me deliver the baby here!

I did decide to have a Doula present this time around. More for my convenience since she speaks Turkish and English and outside of my OB, I don't think the hospital staff speaks English though an interpreter is available.  Personally I'd like only a minimum of people around me when I go through this process. I prefer not to have a gamut of people looking at my private parts. So Doula it is.

An aspect of having the baby here is that the hospital does not provide anything for the baby (though when questioned, they assured me that if something was forgotten at home, they will provide the material which I'm sure they'll put on your tab).  This means baby blankets, onesies, pacifier, diapers, beanies, etc need to be brought with you to the hospital.  That goes the same for the mother to be: hospital/maternity gown, sanitary pads, disposable underwear, etc.  The joy I got from hearing this is an excuse to go on-line and start shopping! I try to find the small joys in every situation. It gave me an excuse to buy 'designer' hospital gowns--never knew they existed but they actually do. Some had captions that said "As seen on Ghost Whisperer or Dr. Phil's daughter wore this  during the birth of her child."  One even came with a matching pillow case which I used as an excuse to indulge.


The maternity suites are quite big.  Big enough to have a small sofa bed available for anyone to stay with you with mini bar (Francisco loved that amenity).  What they do not provide is a nursery.  So I will not win mother of the year award for this but to be perfectly honest, I prefer to have the baby brought to me only when it's feeding time.  I figured that by the time I go home with the baby, they'll be plenty of time for 'rooming in.'  I prefer to rest and sleep while I still can.  But alas! that is not meant to be here because whether I want to or not, Baby Girl Flores will be rooming in with me from the get go.


So that sums up my maternity ward tour information and what to expect if you are having a baby in Ankara, Turkey.


I do believe that my body is preparing for the big event.  More Braxton Hicks contractions for sure.  And I've spent the past week awake between 2:30 am and 5:30 am like clockwork.  I got down to counting how many bathroom breaks I go through between those time period. One night was particularly painful.  I felt like a bowling ball was lodged between my legs and my pelvic area was being split in two.  There was a moment where I thought, this is it...but no...more preparation for the body.  So at 37 weeks, I feel like a bowling ball is perpetually lodged between my legs; I stopped looking in the mirror to see how big my belly is;  I use the sofa to support my growing abdomen; and whether it's due to ligaments stretching or softening, my left ankle gives out for no apparent reason when I least expect it. Just to match my glowing mood, I love wearing my one size Tinker Bell night shirts.  Since at this point, a potato sack is as good as it's gonna get. I take comfort on the pictures on the shirt. One has Tinker Bell waking up with the caption "not every morning is magical" and the other shirt says "who were you expecting, Sleeping Beauty?" because that just sums up my feelings at this stage.


Yeah, yeah, yeah...miracle of life etc etc...whatever.  So over it! I can't even blame a man for the phrase pregnant is beautiful.  One evening, I asked Francisco whether I looked big or not, he did not even have the decency to lie to me -- he looked, laughed and said yes...which made me laugh so hard and told him that he can lie, seriously!


On a daily basis, just to torture myself, I read the guru book of pregnancy books "What to Expect when you are expecting" paying particular attention to the stages of labor.  My hope is that through ESP or some sort mother/child connection, the baby will take the hint and start the process.  Nope, all I get is squirming in my belly and I take delight that the space must be getting smaller and uncomfortable for her. Yes, more mother of the year award points for me.


So the final step this week, on the day of week 37, I brought down the baby bag and my bag and placed it on top of the chest by the door...just in case today is the day.  Yes, wishful thinking on my part. So I'm all packed and no where to go...at least not yet.

The Waiting Game

So tomorrow will mark 36 weeks of this 40 weeks waiting game. Is it wrong of me to say that I cannot wait to get this over with? Don't get me wrong, the whole miracle of life growing inside me stuff is all great but the back aches, going to the bathroom every hour of the day or just even putting one drop of liquid in your system, swelling feet when standing too long, Braxton Hicks contraction, and over all feeling like a beached whale is just getting too old.

I wake everyday thinking, "hey little girl, how about cooperating and arriving next week." Or a late night bathroom run gets me hopeful that my water may just break. It's just not fun anymore to prop a pillow under my continually growing belly while watching TV or just laying in bed and let's not even mention the possible stretch marks cropping up on a weekly basis. Just at my last appointment, my OB was kind enough to mention and point out the new stretch marks. Like I really wanted to know. How about just telling me that I'm already dilating and the waiting game will soon be over. The minute I got home, I googled "mommy make-over" packages just to see how much the costs are so that I can start saving. Wait a minute, I no longer work...so how can I save? Allowance? What's that? I seriously need to renegotiate the contract on this stay at home mom gig.

So here I am facing 36 weeks and all I can think of is: "Are we there yet?"